Why Do Couples Choose Polyamory?

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Polyamory is nothing new. Neither is any other form of ethical non-monogamy. In fact, research shows that it existed long before monogamy–so why is it only now *starting* to become normalized in western culture? Is one better than the other? How does a couple with a monogamous foundation make the transition to poly life?

Let’s start with the basics.

Where does monogamy come from?

There are several answers to this question. The first and most obvious one is that marriage is a social construct. Monogamy only became the standard in our society for reasons tied to Christianity, economic gain, and in many ways the domination of women. It’s not exactly a “natural” phenomenon. In fact, cavemen were having so much unprotected sex back in the day that monogamy only initially became a practice to stave off STD’s–not because it is inherently “right” or “normal” (as some would have you believe).

Are we meant to be non-monogamous?

Here’s the truth: just because non-monogamy came first doesn’t mean that it’s necessarily better than monogamy. People are complex. We all have different romantic and sexual needs and desires–and that’s okay! You shouldn’t let dumb social rules keep you from living your life to the fullest, whatever that means for you. Millions of couples out there get everything they need and want from monogamy. Millions more get the same from non-monogamy. It’s just about knowing yourself. Here are some great resources to learn more:

Can Polyamorous Couples Be Happy? Ending the Stigma of Ethical Non-Monogamy

Polyamorous Dating Basics

5 Ways Polyamory Has Made Me A Happier Person

Want to try polyamory? Here’s where to start.

Since 2001, SwingTowns has been the web’s #1 poly dating site for couples. This poly dating community is the largest and most diverse on the web — there’s a reason it’s called “the world’s friendliest dating site.” Whether you’re single, part of a couple, polycule, or even run a poly group or event, SwingTowns has you covered. Think of it like Facebook for the non-monogamous: you can find all the poly people in your area for free, maybe even some that you already know, as well as every meetup that’s worth going to. Some of them will even be sponsored by SwingTowns with free swag and premium membership discounts!

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Photo credit: mangostar, 123rf.com

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