What real swingers need to know when they choose the lifestyle

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Most people like to say that they have a normal lifestyle. But what is normality? Normality is a set of rules that most of society agrees upon. When members of that society choose to live by other rules, people might not always agree with their choice and look at them in a different way. The lifestyle might not be understood by everybody, but that is because the lifestyle itself isn’t for everybody. Being real swingers doesn’t just mean having sexual relations with other people outside of your relationship. It involves so much more depth and understanding of human emotions, which some people might find too difficult to grasp. That’s why anyone considering the lifestyle must do some research – and a lot of emotional work – if they want to be successful.

What is the real swingers lifestyle?

When trying to define the real swingers lifestyle, one must first start by defining a swinger. Swingers are people that have decided to have a non-monogamous relationship. This means that, while part of a couple, individuals can have sexual relations with people outside of their dynamic. It’s consensual relationship and thus cannot be called “cheating” (despite what outsiders might choose to believe).

The lifestyle this open-mindedness involves refers to the fact that all the parties involved are OK with sharing and exploring their sexual horizons. Being a swinger doesn’t “say anything” about you, except that you like to have sex with more than one person. Anyone can be a swinger, queer or straight, man or woman (or other).

How does the swinger lifestyle affect a relationship?

One of the most common questions asked by those wanting to try the swinger lifestyle is: “How will affect my relationship?” There is no easy answer to this question but looking inside the relationship itself will tell you all you need to know.

Firstly, swinging is not for conservative people. You must have an open mind, and his goes for both partners. Because sex is involved, and should not be taken lightly, both partners should agree on whether they are comfortable enough or not in seeing each other with another person. The thing to remember is that having sex with another person doesn’t necessarily mean love (at least in the emotional or romantic senses). It means consent. And consent should be given by both partners, before engaging with any other swingers.

In choosing to swing as a couple, communication is key. Talking to your partner about the pros and cons of such a major choice helps and might also give a more in-depth perspective of what the relationship is based on and what it needs. For instance, there is a real chance that one partner might get more out of the lifestyle change than the other. This doesn’t have to be a problem. One partner might do it for the sexual experiences, while the other might just want to meet new people. Regardless, the decision of becoming swingers should be made wholeheartedly.

What are the main misconceptions about this lifestyle choice and about swingers near me?

People tend to be afraid of what they don’t know. They also tend to make up stories in order to convince themselves that they are right and to discourage others from trying what they themselves think is wrong. Here are some popular misconceptions about swingers and swinging:


  1. All swingers are cheaters

As stated before, people that choose to practice swinging accept the fact that their partner can have sex with others. This dismantles the cheating argument because for someone to cheat on their partner, said partner must be unaware of it. The fact that couples usually go together to swinger clubs and parties demonstrates that they are OK with having sex with other people. Not to mention that, for some, this lifestyle choice doesn’t necessarily mean having sex. People might go to swinger clubs just to meet up with friends and enjoy one another’s company.


  1. Kinky sex

People that do not understand or accept the swinger’s lifestyle might believe that all swingers are into kink play and BDSM. While some swingers definitely fall into those categories, it’s not true of all swingers. The good news is that consent should always be priority in swinger clubs and at swinger events, and you should never feel pressured to do or try anything you’re not comfortable with. There are even special kinds of clubs that cater to the more hard-core swingers, but you don’t have to visit them if you don’t want to.


  1. Drug abuse

Another big myth about real swingers is that they abuse drugs during parties. Although club policy on alcohol may vary, substance abuse of any kind is forbidden. Swingers that are drunk or under the influence of other drugs are usually either escorted out or denied entrance. Most clubs take take these matters very seriously and breaking these rules might even result in revoking memberships.


  1. Anything goes

Contrary to what many people believe, you can’t do anything you want when swinging. Firstly, consent is paramount, and nobody can force themselves on anybody. Secondly, even if consent is given, you can’t do whatever you want. Your partner must be on board with whatever it is you want to do and vice versa!


These are some of the most popular myths and misconceptions about swingers near me and swinging in general. It’s easy to make assumptions when uninformed people or the media paints specific stereotypes about swingers, but those who live it know the truth. That’s why we started the SwingTowns Open Library — our website and team are committed to giving you all the knowledge you need to have exactly the safe, fulfilling sex life you deserve.

The benefits of being well-informed

The real swingers lifestyle isn’t an easy one. Success is found by couples who are open-minded, set their jealousy aside, and root for their partners’ pleasure as much as their own.

Luckily, we have posts to answer just about any swinger question you might have. Being the biggest community of alternative relationships in the world, we offer singles and couples all the resources they need to make the best decisions as swingers.

From blog posts to testimonial, social networking, venue reviews, recommendations, and more – we try to give you everything you need to get started. If you’re wondering if a certain lifestyle change is for you or not, make our website your first stop. Just go online, type in swingers near me, and find exactly what you’re looking for at SwingTowns: the world’s friendliest dating site.

Phto credit: djrandco, 123rf.com

The post What real swingers need to know when they choose the lifestyle appeared first on Non-Monogamy Blog by SwingTowns.

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