Are you and your partner ready to swing?
Swinging can be an exciting way to meet new people, enhance your sex life, and discover parts of yourself and your partner you may not even know existed. It’s a world full of fun, orgies, swapping, and fantasies. The experience is also quite intense.
Intensity can be wonderful, but it can also strain relationships. It’s inevitable that you will experience complicated emotions such as jealousy, insecurity, and doubt. You can however make swinging work for you if you’re both genuinely ready and willing to prioritize your relationship. Swinging can be a great way to add some spice to your relationship, but it’s important to go into it with open eyes and realistic expectations. If you’re both on the same page, then swinging could be just what you need to take your relationship to the next level.
But how can you tell if you’re ready?
Here are the top signs you and your partner are ready to swing. With all of these in mind, you can navigate this new world of sexual freedom with confidence.
1. You’re confident in your relationship
It’s normal to be jealous sometimes, but if you’re thinking about swinging and either or both of you have difficulty communicating your feelings, then swinging might not be the right choice for you. Openness and honesty are crucial when swinging. If either of you is jealous (or unable to communicate with your partner), then swinging may cause considerable damage to your relationship. The best way to handle jealousy is to discuss it as soon as possible! Since jealousy can occur at any point during your experience and should not be ignored or downplayed by either party, you must be able to openly discuss it.
2. Your relationship is in a good place
Swinging is not the solution to a broken connection. It’s tempting to think you will be able to mend things by bringing other people into the mix, but it just isn’t true. If your connection is already in trouble, you should deal with issues before considering swinging as an option. If issues arise while swinger (and they will), you must be willing to work through them with your spouse. Swinging is an excellent addition to a healthy relationship, but only if both partners commit to the work necessary to ensure everyone feels safe and cared for throughout the experience.
3. Your sex life is already good
Swinging can make your relationship more exciting and interesting, but if you plan to partake in extracurricular activities outside of your relationship, you must be sure that your sex life is both healthy and fulfilling. It’s easy to get swept away by the excitement of new people, but remember that having a good relationship is based on healthy communication and trust. If you feel as if your sex life is lacking, speak up!
4. You trust each other completely
It is crucial for you both to trust each other and to set and respect boundaries in order to ensure a healthy swinging relationship. You must also be certain that your partner won’t overstep the bounds of a sexual relationship with someone else and will let you know if things start to get romantic. Swinging is about having fun, but it can also be emotionally draining if you’re not ready for its emotional aspects. Prioritize open communication with your partner prior to joining this lifestyle so you know what to expect.
5. You know each other well
When a partner exhibits signs of being uncomfortable, unsafe, or uninterested in certain scenarios, you must be able to recognize them. People may not express these concerns verbally, especially if they feel pressure to go along with something that makes them uncomfortable. Because of this, you should both be familiar enough with each other to sense discomfort and uncertainty so that you can pull your partner aside to discuss things before deciding whether to continue.
6. You have excellent communication
Before, during, and after a sexual encounter, swinging requires clear communication. It’s critical to be able to discuss your insecurities and jealousies, as well as other emotions that might occur. You and your partner must be able to communicate well so that you can resolve a conflict quickly and without resentment. It’s also crucial to be able to express your love for each other and your trust. Swinging can be intimidating, so you must know that your partner is in it with you 100%, and the only way to do so is through good communication.
7. You have code words
Safe words are great when you’re meeting a new couple, preparing to swing, or in the middle of a sexual encounter. They allow you to communicate without pulling each other aside. If you’re in a situation where you’re feeling uncomfortable, but your partner isn’t aware of it, safe words will give you the opportunity to communicate. If you’re using safe words for the first time, it’s important to discuss them before getting started. That way, everyone is on the same page and knows what to expect. Safe words are a great way to make sure that everyone is comfortable and enjoying themselves.
Here is a list of things you should have code words or signals for:
- I’m really enjoying this
- Let’s continue
- I like this person
- I don’t like this person
- This situation is making me uncomfortable
- I don’t want to continue
- I’m jealous
- I am overwhelmed by the situation
Determine what signals you will use, whether it be a unique codeword, a hand signal, or ordering a specific drink as a means of communicating with your partner. As a result, encounters with others will run more smoothly, and both of you will feel more comfortable.
8. You’ve had “the talk”
Before taking the plunge into this way of living, you should have a deep conversation about your emotions, goals, wishes, fears, and expectations. Swinging should be a mutually beneficial experience for both of you. You should also be aware of each other’s worries and concerns.
A Few Questions to Ask:
- For you and your partner, what does swinging look like?
- Is swinging something you’d like to do often?
- Are you interested in full swaps or soft swaps?
- Do you worry about feeling jealous?
- Does swinging play an important role in your relationship?
- What benefit will swinging have on your relationship?
- Is there anything that would make you want to stop swinging?
9. You both want it
Having a certain level of enthusiasm, confidence, and readiness is required when choosing to live the swinging lifestyle. If one or both of you are hesitant or unsure, keeping the energy going in the right direction will be difficult.
Ask yourselves these questions:
- Does swinging tend to come up in conversations between us?
- Do we both express an interest in swinging?
- Do either of you feel hesitant or uncertain?
- Is there a genuine feeling of readiness to begin swinging for both of you?
10. You know the rules
It’s important to familiarize yourself with rules and etiquette before attending a swinging event for the first time. During meet and greets, sex parties, sex clubs, and orgies, for example, there are specific rules and expectations. By becoming familiar with the swinger lifestyle, you will better understand and appreciate its many facets. It’s also important to understand the differences between a sex party, orgy, and a meet and greet, in addition to knowing the difference between a hard and soft swap. That is why we’ve created this handy Swinger Glossary. Here you will learn all the lingo and slang associated with the lifestyle.
11. You’ve determined your boundaries
When it comes to swinging, every couple has their own limits. There are some couples who only do soft swaps together. Some people like to swing separately, visiting their sexual partners outside the house. Others allow anything but kissing. It’s up to you to determine what’s comfortable for you and your partner. Discuss your boundaries together. Establish what is okay and what is a definite no-go. Keep in mind that your limits may change as you become more comfortable swinging, and check in with each other regularly to adjust boundaries as needed.
12. You’ve discussed safe sex
When it comes to sexual activity, there are always risks involved. However, these risks can be minimized by taking some simple precautions. If you are planning on swinging with your partner, it is important to discuss safe sex practices beforehand and decide which ones you want to use. It is also important to set clear boundaries for using protection, such as only engaging in sexual activity with partners who have been tested for STIs. Once you start swinging, it is important to get tested regularly for STIs in order to reduce the risk of transmission. By taking some simple precautions, you can help keep yourself and your loved one safe and healthy.
13. You’re mentally and emotionally ready to swing
If you swing separately, there’s a good chance you’ll hear about your partner’s sexual encounters with other people. While this might be difficult to handle at first, it’s important to remember that jealousy is normal. If you’re open and honest with your partner, you should be able to overcome any feelings of jealousy. Before diving headfirst into the swinging lifestyle, you might want to ease into it by engaging in a threesome, attending a sex party, or take some time to browse through our Swinger Groups to start locating some couples in your area. Also, remember to take your time. Swinging is not something that you should rush into. Explore your options and talk to your partner about what you’re both comfortable with. By taking things slowly, you can ensure that swinging is a positive experience for both of you.
14. It’s OK for you both to step back or stop
In the same way that it’s important to be willing to see your partner in a sexual situation, it’s also important to know if or when to take a step back. If your partner feels uncomfortable, it’s important to be respectful and walk away. It’s impossible to predict how you’ll react to a situation until you’re ready to swing, and swinging may seem great at first, but it’s not for everyone. If one partner doesn’t want to swing anymore, the other should be willing to walk away. Prioritizing your relationship is always the most important thing.
15. You’re both excited to start
It’s time to ease into things now that you’ve talked things through, done your research, set clear boundaries, and established a plan. Are you ready to swing? You may find these questions helpful in making your decision.
- When discussing sex outside of your relationship, do you both get excited?
- Is it a turn-on for you to see someone else touch your partner or being touched yourself?
- When you look into different swinging opportunities, do you get a rush?
- Have you ever fantasized or role-played different swinging situations together?
Reflect for a moment. Were there any areas we suggested you should improve before starting? Preparation can make your entry into the lifestyle more enjoyable. It’s possible that you answered yes to all of these questions. If that’s the case, then you’re ready to swing. Now is the time to exploring swinger couples in your area and plan your new adventure. Keeping your partner and your relationship first will make swinging a great addition to your sex life and partnership.