When it comes to sexual pleasure, there is no magic button or one-size-fits-all technique guaranteed to produce mind-blowing orgasms. However, by developing a deeper understanding of the anatomical structures involved in sexual pleasure and learning innovative techniques, your chances of thrilling your lover with orgasmic delight multiply exponentially!
You’re probably familiar with the clitoris and the fact that it only serves one anatomical function — pleasure! But did you know that it has legs? And a shaft? And do you know where to find them?
The clitoris, in recent history, has been sorely misunderstood. Often reduced to a “pea-sized bump” at the top of where the lips meet, it’s no surprise that many of us are unaware of its true pleasure potential.
More than a tiny nodule rich in nerve endings, the clitoral complex is comprised of many parts — both on the outside and inside of the body. It has two legs, two bulbs, foreskin, glands, nerves, blood vessels, a shaft and it gets raging erections. That’s right — during arousal, blood flow causes clitoral boners!
You may be thinking that the lovely clitoris sounds an awful lot like the penis and if so, you’re on the right track. The clitoris and the penis share a great deal in common with regard to both origin, structure and function:
The head of the clitoris (also called the glans) is highly sensitive to touch and is covered/protected by the clitoral hood (AKA foreskin). The shaft, which is composed of erectile tissue and cavernous bodies that fill with blood, is attached to the head beneath the hood. The inner legs and bulbs lie underneath the vulva next to the vaginal canal. These areas also expand with pleasure when aroused causing the outer lips to swell and create a tight sensation which early researchers referred to as the orgasmic platform.
Sometimes it can be difficult to visually locate the clitoris — especially if you’re looking for the head, which often “hides” beneath the hood. If you pull up very gently on the skin at the top of your inner labia (just below the pubic mound), you’ll reveal the sensitive (sometimes shiny) pearl-like structure. Each person’s body is unique, so even if you can’t see it, rest assured that it’s there right at the top of the where the lips meet.
Understanding the structure of the clitoris helps to explain why so many women achieve pleasure and orgasm from rubbing, grinding and stroking on the outside of their bodies — from the pubic mound down to the base of the vulva. When you rub the outside, you have the potential to stimulate the entire clitoral complex – from the head to the inner bulbs.
Obviously each clitoris is unique, but here are a few guidelines for exploring the clit:
- Start slowly and gently using your breath and feather-light touch. You don’t have to dive right in with fingering, vibrating and sucking.
- Tease the areas around the clitoris (e.g. inner thighs) to build anticipation.
- Don’t ring it like a doorbell unless she asks you to. It’s not an elevator button.
- Pay attention to the entire clitoris — not just the head.
- Use lube! Please and thanks.
If you’re looking to take your clitoral pleasure game to the next level, try some of the techniques below to discover new pathways to pleasure. And remember to ask your lover for feedback, as she is the ultimate expert in her own sexual pleasure.
The Pussy Pocket
This is one of my favorite techniques as it allows you to cup the entire vulva and really envelop the clitoris. As you gently grind against the pubic mound, you stroke the inner shaft of the clitoris through the hood — like a mini hand-job! And the pressure against her lips allows you to stimulate the inner bulbs as you grind, press and pulse.
- Place the palm of your hand on her pubic mound (the fleshy patch at the very bottom of the abdomen).
- Fold your fingers over her vulva to cover her lips.
- Gently increase the pressure.
- Pulse, grind or rub with gradually increasing intensity; be very gently at first and follow the rhythm and pressure of her hips as guidance.
- Use a little lube for added pleasure.
The Cross My Heart
This technique is perfect for stimulating the clitoral head and bulbs as well as the fourchette – the sensitive spot where the lips meet at the very bottom of the vulva.
- Apply lube to your thumbs and press them both gently against the top of the vulva over the head (or hood) of the clitoris.
- Sensually slide your thumbs around the outer edge of the lips as though you’re drawing a heart around the entire vulva; pay a little extra attention to the “fork in the road” at the bottom where the lips meet — this is the sensitive
This sensual move allows you to grind against the inner bulbs and legs while simultaneously caressing the hood, head and shaft of the clitoris.
- Slather the palm of your hand in lube.
- Press your hand against her vulva as you separate your fingers to form a “W” shape.
- As you slide up and down (s-l-o-w-l-y), open and close your fingers to close and widen the “W”
- If you have trouble opening your fingers into a “W”, try a “V” or a simply high five formation as you separate and bring your fingers back together.
The Tongue Stroke
Give the head of the clitoris pinpointed pleasure by alternating movements with your tongue.
- Gently pull back on the hood of the clitoris to reveal the head.
- Lick your lips and breathe (don’t blow!) light, warm air over the head.
- Alternate between rolling the tip of your tongue around the head and sweeping your whole tongue over it as though you’re nodding your head back and forth to say “no”.
This move may sound complicated, but it actually takes very little effort:
- Lube it up!
- Slide your entire thumbs up and down the outer sides of her vulva while you slide your tongue up and down the middle (moving in opposite directions).
- Pay a little extra attention to the head of the clit at the top and feel free to slip your tongue inside should you feel so inclined.
All Roads Lead To Orgasm
The inner parts of the clitoris surround the vaginal canal, so you can stimulate the clitoris from inside of the vagina too!
- Slide two fingers inside of the vagina inserting as slowly as you possibly can to build anticipation and intensity.
- Rotate your hand from your wrist so she feels the tingly sensations (don’t make a scooping motion with your fingers — just rotate) while simultaneously pulsing one finger from your other hand against the head of her clitoris on the outside.
The Sweet Pinch
This technique stimulates the G-Spot (considered part of the clitoral complex by some researchers) and the shaft, hood and head of the clitoris simultaneously.
- Slide your index and middle fingers inside of her vagina with your wrist rotated upwards. You may be able to feel the G-Spot (it’s really an area — not a distinct spot) on the upper wall.
- “Pinch” as you use your thumb to stroke against the hood of the clit on the outside.
The Flat Pulse
This one is simple! Press your entire tongue over her vulva and pulse it with increasing intensity to press against the inner and outer parts of the clitoris. Follow the rhythm of her hips to fall in synch as she rides against you.
As her arousal increases, she may enjoy direct stimulation of the clitoral head. If this is the case, roll a small vibe (like the We-Vibe Tango) around this sensitive spot and encourage her to guide your hand in the process.
She may also enjoy squeezing a thicker vibrator between her legs to stimulate the inner clitoris via her labia.