While swinging typically involves some sort of partner swapping between two (or more) couples, the specifics look different for everyone. This is where swinging boundaries come in. Each swinger couple must set their own boundaries because not everyone’s comfort level or experiences are the same. And, this is why it’s so important to take the time to prepare before your first swinging experience. But, preparation isn’t just about shaving your legs or putting on cologne; it’s also about having those required conversations.
In this article, we’re discussing one of the most important swinging boundaries to talk about: whether you’d like to swap partners in the same or separate rooms. This is a conversation that’s bound to come up at some point and it’s important to come to some conclusion before the heat of the moment. Let’s talk about the difference between these types of swaps and the one that might be best for you.
Setting Swinging Boundaries on Swapping in the Same or Separate Rooms
While the swinger lifestyle might seem like it’s all about open, uninhibited sex with any and everyone, that actually couldn’t be further from the truth. Swinger couples spend a lot of time in conversation, discussing boundaries, fantasies, and fears. Deciding on the best swinging dynamic is also part of this process.
Some couples are completely comfortable separating from each other to enjoy that sexy time with someone new, while others would prefer to stay together. Both options are completely valid but totally dependent on what you’d like to gain from the experience.
Here are some factors to consider:
Do You Want to Focus More on Yourself/Your Pleasure?
Want to truly immerse yourself in the sensations and pleasures of being with someone new? Swapping in separate rooms may facilitate this in the best way.
Do You Enjoy Watching Your Partner at Play?
If it’s the sights and sounds of your partner being pleasured that arouse you the most, consider only swapping in the same room together. Then, you’ll always be witness to the other’s enjoyment.
Are You Comfortable Playing with/around Someone of the Same Sex?
Some people (primarily men) simply aren’t comfortable with being sexy and passionate around someone of the same sex. And that’s okay! The swinger lifestyle can be tailored to your preferences. If you’d rather not get passionate with someone of the same sex watching or touching you, separate room swapping may be your best bet.
Are You Okay with Leaving Your Partner Alone?
Have you and your partner reached a place in your relationship where you’re comfortable leaving each other alone? Will you still be able to relax and enjoy yourself, even if you can’t easily see/access your partner? If the answer to either one of these questions is “No”, then you may be most comfortable with a same-room swap.
Setting Your Swinging Boundaries Before You Swap is Critical
However you decide to swap is a completely personal decision that only you and your partner can agree on. The most important thing is that you talk about it beforehand. Setting swinging boundaries and expectations before ever meeting up with another couple is one of the best ways to guarantee a good time for everyone.
To get started on setting your own swinging boundaries, check out the SwingTowns guide to setting and sticking to swinger rules.