Social rules are everywhere these days. We’re constantly pressured to have the “perfect” bodies, careers, friends, and relationships—and the cringey part is, none of that exists! Just about everything in this high-stress world of ours is a construct, but so many of us go with the flow because, well, what else are we gonna do? Then there are others. People who see beyond the bullying B.S. of “should’s” and do what their hearts call them to do. In the dating world, this can mean anything from queer love to polyamory and even swingers dating.
You, of course, have stumbled upon the SwingTowns Open Library – a.k.a the #1 swinger dating blog on the web. Whether that’s out of need or sheer curiosity, we’re here to help you find what you’re looking for…ESPECIALLY if that means helping you meet swingers, have fun, and add a little flair to your sex life.
First off, let’s get something out of the way.
What’s the Difference Between Swingers Dating and Cheating?
For whatever reason (and there are actually quite a few) swingers dating has got a bad rep in western culture. We tend to have this idea that monogamy is somehow the purest form of love and that participating in anything less probably means you’re a bad person—or, at the very least, a deeply unhappy one. On the contrary: many swingers are some of the happiest, most ~fulfilled~ couples out there, and they can have stronger bonds than some monogamous people. Why is that?
Basically, being in an ethically non-monogamous relationship requires a strong foundation.
Notice how we threw in that term “ethical” there. That’s because any relationship in which honesty, consent, trust, respect, and love are present is an ETHICAL relationship no matter if it’s monogamous, non-monogamous, kinky, or queer. And that’s something everyone should get behind. Being an adult means making your own choices, knowing what makes you happy, and living accordingly. If Sarah and Mark love each other and wish to have a relationship, but still explore other sexual relationships, and they both set and respect boundaries that make them feel comfortable, then Sarah and Mark are going to be much happier in this type of relationship than a monogamous one. As they communicate and continue to respect each other’s boundaries, while still meeting each other’s needs in the relationship, they are likely to grow closer, strengthen their trust, and have a greater bond.
Problems start to arise when one partner chooses to explore outside sexual or romantic relationships without the awareness or consent of the other. This is, in other words, cheating. It is not ethical and is not welcome in most respected communities for the non-monogamous. Swinging, for example, can lead to a very exciting and rewarding sex life, but that is ONLY the case if both partners want it. If one partner does it without letting the other one know—or worse, pressures their partner into it—it’s likely to exacerbate any issues already present in the relationship, and ultimately lead to a break up.
When it comes to swingers dating, the best thing to do is to take things slowly and to become familiar with the things that can go wrong. Anything less will drive you apart. Successful swinging couples are open minded and they are not afraid to discuss their fantasies, their expectations, their fears. On the other hand, they set firm boundaries in place and respect them no matter what. They help one another feel as comfortable and heard as possible.
Communication and trust are paramount.
How to Meet Swingers
SwingTowns has millions of members all over the world, and in just about every city across the U.S., U.K. & Canada. If you want to meet swingers, you’ll want to join a platform that is inclusive, friendly, and responsible. Of course, you’ll also want a place to find swingers clubs, parties, and other events. Luckily, SwingTowns meets all these needs and more!
The best part is, there’s never any pressure to go further than you want to (or at all). Many first time swingers give it a go by simply talking to other couples and getting a feel for the scene. Some swingers never have sex with other couples at all, but rather get off on watching or having others watch them. It’s all about boundaries. Everyone has their own, and the more you put yourselves out there, the faster you’ll find the perfect play partners for you!
Of course, before you meet swingers, there are some things you’ll want to consider about the lifestyle:
- Establish why you would like to swing; open up with your partner and discuss the reasons why you think you would both benefit from the lifestyle. It’s important to note that the reason should never be “to fix ___” (this never ever works).
- Figure out how you want to swing; would you like to go out for a drink with swingers? Would you like to attend a party or go to a club for swingers? Would you prefer a resort for swingers? There are lots of options, and some you might enjoy more than others.
- Set ground rules and stick to them; breaking trust will kill your relationship.
- Work on building up your confidence; it can be intimidating to put yourself out there, and rejection happens to everyone. Don’t feel bad about it. Just move on!
- Consider meeting couples online first, especially if you’re more introverted.
It’s easy to meet swingers in your region but adopting the swinger lifestyle successfully means staying on the same page as your partner. Do this, and the rest should be simple.
Why Should You Consider Swinging?
Different couples have different reasons for getting into the lifestyle. Some want to explore their sexuality. Some just want to spice up things in the bedroom. Some are just not monogamous, and that’s okay too! (PSA: consider polyamory as well).
Nonetheless, you should be aware of the fact that swinging only works when you love your partner, when you trust your partner, and when both of you feel the need to experience sex with different people, and so on. Swinging is recommended for partners who love, trust, and respect each other and who are committed to making it work.
If this sounds like you, it might be time to meet swingers. Chances are you will have a rewarding experience and you will look forward to repeating it. The more prepared you are for the swinging lifestyle, the better your adventures will be, so do your research and get started for FREE now!
Photo credit: Cathy Yeulet, 123rf.com