Sexting and Swinging: The Do’s and Don’ts of Sexting with Another Couple

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Sexting is pretty much the best thing to ever happen to technology. Even better than Tiger King conspiracy theories, ACNH, and those Love is Blind memes about Mark and Jessica.

love is blind mark and jessica meme

Now more than ever, I’m sure we all appreciate the spice it brings to our, at times, un-spicy boxed-in existences (thanks Netflix, but there are some ~needs~ even you can’t fulfill)!

Luckily, there are tons of guides out there about how to sext singles, but what about when it comes to couples? Your head might be swimming with questions about this, especially if you’re newer to the world of ethical non-monogamy;

Who’s supposed to initiate sexting with another couple?

Should you start a private Facebook chat for the whole group, or do you all text each other individually?

And where are you supposed to go to find swingers for sexting in the first place?

We got you.

Here are some tips from different couples who’ve found what works for them!

I talk with the female half and he talks with the male half. We are still newbies but I don’t ever see that changing for us. We communicate what needs to be communicated without the unsettling ‘what if’ feelings on the other party’s side. It sounds strange that it would make a difference I know, but for us it does. We say nothing our partner doesn’t see either. If I found that he had hidden communication with a female, half of a couple or not, I would be pressing all brakes at once so fast everybody would have whiplash!” [via]

We text either same-sex or group only. It completely eliminates [certain issues]. We aren’t in this to build relationships outside of group friendships. Opposite sex messaging almost always leads to imbalanced connections. One pairing will hit it off faster than the other. It’s inevitable. Sticking with group keeps the balance. Others will disagree and even say they need to create one on one connections to feel comfortable playing. That’s fine. Everyone does things differently. Those just wouldn’t be the types for us.” [via]

The only rule in swinging is everyone swings differently. You need to work out your boundaries with your [partner]. I have a wife in California I text with, they used to live in Austin…Last night we sent over some pics we took together.” [via]

If you’re new to it, text in a group. Then you all see everything. Fewer misunderstandings that way.” [via]

All texting is group text only… end of story. [My partner] can flirt and sext all he wants as long as it’s in a common space for all to share. If yours has a problem with it…. red flag.” [via]

My husband and I personally hate [sexting]. Would rather get to know people in person then get naked pics unsolicited all day long. But in these current times, it’s a reasonable request! I just personally don’t enjoy it. ETA: one of the downsides was getting naked pics while at work and opening them unexpectedly. That wouldn’t be a problem now either!” [via]

READ NEXT: “The Art of Sexting: How to Take Pics Like a Pro

Photo credit: Dean Drobot,

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