In today’s world of body shaming and airbrushed photos, it’s not surprising that many suffer anxiety concerning their body. I’ll be the first to admit that I have succumbed to body image issues and shied away from my desires. I often felt I wasn’t pretty enough, or thin enough, or that my breasts weren’t large enough. I’ve declined to partake in social events because I hated my body shape. I bemoaned that my skin wasn’t flawless, and worried about cellulite.
There have been times where my anxieties and body issues have negatively impacted my sex life. I was ashamed of how I looked. I felt I wasn’t good enough to have sex with my would-be partners… so I didn’t.
Even when I wanted to be intimate, I avoided doing so. I was afraid my partner would be disgusted by my body, especially if seen in unflattering sex positions. It is a problem that haunts me still. Fifteen years married, and I sometimes still ask to have the lights turned off during sex.
It’s easy to coach that we are all uniquely beautiful in our own ways, and how we can’t let society get us down or be affected by media. Yet, we all have bad days were positive affirmations don’t stick, and anxiety keeps us from enjoying ourselves and sharing our bodies intimately—flaws and all—with others. But rather than avoid sex (or insist that sex happen in the dark) I wondered if, like posing for photographs, there was a list out there of go-to sex positions that were fairly flattering to all body types, no matter the shape, size or gender.
When I couldn’t find a list, we at SwingTowns got together and decided to make one…
SEVEN SEX POSITIONS THAT WILL MAKE YOU LOOK HOT!
The Traditional Missionary Position
The opinion spectrum on this sexual position is expansive, with a few sexually adventurous crying “OMG, so boring” all the way to the other end with “Um, it’s the only way to do it” by some Christian conservatives who consider the position religiously pure, hence the name. But no matter your position on this position, when it comes to the aesthetics of sex, a traditional Missionary Position is a good one to use, especially by those who like to hide their bodies.
For one, this face-to-face setup promotes eye contact, and no one has ugly eyes. (If you believe you have ugly eyes, you can simply close them. See? Problem easily solved.) And two, the missionary position is about feeling rather than seeing. One body covers the other, and the person on top can be covered by a sheet or blanket without impeding movement or ruining the intimacy. The point is, for those actually engaged in the act, everyone looks hot in this position.
Coital Alignment Technique
A variation of the Traditional Missionary where movement is more of a slow grind than rapid thrusting, Coital Alignment Technique (aka CAT) is when the body moves downward during the inward stroke, and upward for the outward stroke, and the sexual movement is focused in the pelvises, without leverage from the arms or legs.
This position is definitely HOT—it looks sexy, and it feels great. Those with body issues will enjoy the limited view of Doggie Style since the giver is looking mostly at the back, shoulders, neck and head of the receiver, while the receiver is looking mostly at pillows and/or blanket below them. Of course, with some effort, the receiver might crank their neck to look over their shoulder, or a giver might lean to the side to look under at the receiver’s stomach and chest, but why bother with this straining discomfort when you can simply caress body parts instead. Doggie Style also offers a lot of flexibility. By adding a third person into the mix, the receiver becomes orally engaged. Visually pleasing for all participants, and any voyeurs who happen to be watching, Doggie Style is definitely on the “HOT” list.
Like the name suggests, the receiver straddling the giver’s hips is riding backwards, facing away from the giver. Whether penetration is happening vaginally or anally, the Reverse Cowboy/Cowgirl puts the focus on physical stimulation rather than visual stimulation. This is a great position for those who worry about showing their lover their round stomach or small chest. For those who have long hair, this position is very aesthetically striking for the one watching those lengthy locks sway across your back as you ride toward an orgasm.
Bent Over Something – Anything – Everything!
In this rear-entry position, everyday items such as kitchen tables, chair backs, bathroom vanities, washing machines, copy machines, car hoods, etcetera, make for visually-pleasing escapades for any couple. For one, this position promotes a certain level of spontaneity and risk, so the self-conscious can maneuver to keep most clothing on without seeming weird. (Yes, it’s okay in this case to keep your socks on.) And two, other aspects come into play: location, the need for brevity, the thrill of getting caught, and sheer fun-factor.
While Suspended in Rope Bondage
Whether you call it Shibari or Kinbaku-bi, which literally means “the beauty of tight binding” in Japanese, or call rope bondage something else altogether, the beauty of a body erotically contorted and decorated in knots is something to behold. In this case, the aesthetics are not in the physical beauty of a person, but rely on the expertise of the one tying the rope. Visually pleasing and physically erotic, please remember to play safely and responsibly.
Under Water in a Sitting Position
There are many professionals with a variety of opinions concerning underwater sex. Some doctors believe it is safe to have sex underwater as long as the water is clean. Other doctors claim having sex underwater increases risk of infection. Before you decide, do some research and talk with a doctor about this option.
Underwater sex is ideal for those who want all the pleasure and freedom of being undressed while still being covered. Also, underwater sex is uniquely intimate because the couple must cling to each other or else float away. The sights, sounds, and smells of underwater sex cannot be duplicated in a bedroom—not even with a waterbed.