Self Love & Swinging (Keys to Feeling Sexy)

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Are you struggling with self love as a swinger? Body image? Sexual confidence? We’re here to put an end to that B.S.! Here are five ways you can learn to love your body, build confidence, and feel sexy for your next hot swinger meetup.

Start pleasing yourself. It’s easy to care too much about what other swingers think when that’s where you go for most–or all–of your sexual gratification. Make sure you give yourself pleasure too! Put on sexy lingerie and read a steamy story or two. Masturbate. Splurge on fun sex toys just for you. Treat and admire your body the way you want other people to! It’s one of the most powerful ways to gain self love and feel sexy not only as a swinger, but in general. Start putting this into practice, and watch how fast you start to *really* love your body!

Focus on what you love about yourself. Or, at least, what you like about yourself. It doesn’t have to be anything big. Maybe you take personal hygiene seriously (you know your playmates are gonna ~love~ breathing you in). Or maybe your eyebrows slayyy, or you’ve got sexy piercings. Everybody has something going for them, and we tend to be way harder on ourselves than we should be. Start drowning out those negative voices with positive ones!

Spend a little bit of time each day (and before swinging) appreciating those things. It’s one thing to list the things you like about yourself, it’s another entirely to make that list part of a meditative practice. Believe it or not, meditation actually changes your brain’s structure to minimize things like anxiety and fear! And no–it doesn’t have to look like sitting in a dark room with candles lit and humming “ommmmm” for hours on end. In fact, meditation can be anything that involves mindfulness (literally: being mindful of your thoughts and the present moment). You get to decide what it looks like for you! Maybe you read off a list of things you like about yourself, and one by one spend a minute or two reveling in it. Or maybe you do things that make you feel powerful, like dancing or going for a run, and focusing intently on that feeling of power for the duration of the exercise. Whatever you do, just do it frequently and consistently. And try to pair it up with your swinger meetups to calm those nerves!

Repeat positive affirmations to yourself. Speaking of positive voices: it can really help to pair focusing on the things you like about yourself with affirmations that compliment them. The key here is to use the phrase “I am” (arguably the most powerful phrase in the english language). Say things like, “I am beautiful in my own unique way…” “I am a person who smells incredible..” “I am loving myself more and more every day…” etc. Keep the practice consistent, and you’ll be amazed how quickly your confidence skyrockets!

Fill your Instagram feed with people who look like you. It’s really easy to struggle with body image when the whole world seems to look like a Kardashian or a Cruise. The solution: stop looking at that crap! It’s B.S. There are so many more people out there who look like you than any celebrity, and even if there’s not–who cares? The bodies that Hollywood wants us to strive for are not bodies we can all have, and they’re not bodies we should all want. The only body you should want is your own. Anyone who makes you feel differently is a bully. Combat that crap by filling your Instagram feed–and other social media–with beautiful images of people who look like you! This will help you ease into self-acceptance, and start really *seeing* the wisdom we all know to be true deep down: that all bodies are different, and perfect, in their own way. And that’s exactly how it should be!

Photo credit: Inna Reviaka,

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