Polyamorous Dating Basics

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If you’re thinking about the ~more than two~ life, or you’ve already decided to jump in, you’ll find that the world of polyamorous dating can be at times everything you hoped for, and other times frustrating. Though non-monogamy has been a part of human life long since before monogamy even existed, the western world is only beginning to normalize it. That means polyam couples and singles have largely had to figure things out for themselves with almost no guidance. 

At SwingTowns, the World’s Friendliest Dating Site (and one of the most popular free poly dating sites out there), we’re trying to change that.

Here are a few key tips to help you navigate polyamorous dating. 

If you are new to non-monogamy… do some research first. Be sure to learn all about the different types of non-monogamy (there are quite a few!) and what makes a non-monogamous relationship ethical. There’s no one right way to “do” polyamory, but you may find that a different lifestyle suits you better. It’s always a good idea to explore your options before jumping in!

If you are single… think about how much independence you want to maintain as you date. Some poly couples/throuples/etc. choose to live together. Others don’t. Some share money. Others don’t. Like we said before: rules vary according to the needs and wants of those involved. Just make sure you’re as upfront as possible about your expectations with anyone you date. It can prevent a lot of problems down the road! Also, look into solo poly communities. There’s at least one in just about every major city, and the friendship and support you’ll gain can be invaluable!

If you are a couple (especially married)… join a poly community or just make poly friends to start with. When you’re complete beginners to ethical non-monogamy, and you’ve already established certain rules and expectations in your relationship, there is a lot of room for error as you evolve. Some common mistakes can be avoided by getting to know others who’ve already been living polyamory for a while and learning from them. It’s also a great way to find support as you learn to navigate the stigma that can come along with being polyamorous. Be sure to read up on some of our polyam resources so you know a little bit going in!

Consider a poly friendly marriage counselor. This person will help you understand yourselves better, and what you truly want out of your relationship. You’ll learn your communication styles, and develop them for greater success in your marriage. The couples who have the greatest success in polyamory start with a solid foundation–and therapy is a great place to start!

Sign up for a free poly dating website. There’s no easier way to meet other poly people, make friends, join communities, and fall in love than at SwingTowns.com: The World’s Friendliest Dating Site. Home to millions of members all over the world, you can video chat with other members, join groups, and search for local events. Signing up is FREE. Get your membership now!

Photo credit: 123rf.com


Members of the SwingTowns Community can discuss this article and its implications on the lifestyle community forum. If you’re not a member, you can sign up today and see what you’re missing.


SwingTowns Blog
SwingTowns is the World’s Friendliest Dating Site. Since 2001, we’ve built a community of millions embodying the full spectrum of non-monogamy: from friends-with-benefits to poly, swinger, and more.

We understand that desire can be complicated, but meeting people doesn’t have to be. Login and get matched today!

Jumping into ethical non-monogamy (ENM) is easier than ever…

Some people find the happiness and support they need…

What’s happening: society is catching up to the fact…

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