When making the decision to open the relationship, one of the main areas where couples struggle is in overcoming jealousy. They instinctually feel jealous at the thought of their partner being with someone else, even if the thought excites them a little. And, many have questions about conquering it.
In this article, we’re talking about jealousy in the swapping relationship. We’ll start by covering the reason why it’s there, and then share some awesome tips to help you overcome it. Jealousy doesn’t have to be included in your swinging experience, but you’re the only one who can get rid of it.
Jealousy is a Common Part of Any Relationship
Believe it or not, jealousy is a common component of almost any romantic relationship, whether it’s open or not. The feeling isn’t exclusive to swinging relationships. Most swingers simply have an active desire to overcome it.
The key here is to discover the root. From where does your jealousy stem?
Do you fear they will leave you for someone else?
Could your self-esteem use some work?
Have you found yourself comparing your physical body with that of your swapping partners?
Jealousy is a feeling that requires some questioning and exploration to get to the bottom of. But, uncovering the root is the very first step.
Conquering Jealousy in the Swinger Lifestyle
Maintaining a successful swinging relationship and a healthy mental state is not something that just comes naturally. Our society, with its possessive nature over sexual/romantic partners, tends to encourage feelings of jealousy. With a little work though, you might find that the swinger lifestyle invokes less jealousy than a traditional relationship.
Here are some smart ways to start the hard work.
Make Sure You’re Always Part of the Process
When it comes to swinging relationships, both partners should be part of the process. Conversations should be held frequently on boundaries, desires, and fantasies. And, any set rules should be mutually agreed upon.
Allowing both partners to play an active role in the process provides the reminder that you chose this, too. It also helps keep benefits, like greater sexual satisfaction, in the forefront of your mind.
Never Compare Yourself with Others
When you really think about it, the swapping lifestyle is all about fun and pleasure. There’s no reason to bring competition into this arena. One of the easiest ways to accidentally do so is through comparison.
Remember, it doesn’t matter whether someone is skinnier than you or has bigger boobs. You and your partner have chosen each other, and you have chosen this lifestyle together. Don’t allow superficial thoughts to ruin that.
Dealing with Jealousy Can be an Opportunity for Growth
There’s a common go-to mentality in the swapping lifestyle, and it’s that embracing compersion is the ultimate remedy for jealousy. Compersion put simply, is the total opposite of jealousy. It’s the ability to find happiness in someone else’s happiness (like a partner’s), even if the source of those good feelings doesn’t include you.
Try it for yourself.
Next time those jealous feelings pop up, try tapping into the feeling of joy instead. Jealousy is the act of responding in pain to someone else’s happiness. But, that doesn’t have to be your default. Try compersion.