People who have been together for a while often wonder how to keep the spark alive. It’s not that they aren’t interested in each other anymore; it’s just that, for many couples, their desire has turned from a frenzied make-out session and ripping each other’s clothes off into something much more muted. A decline in desire isn’t abnormal at all. Rather, it’s a normal process of adjusting to someone new. However, for some, it’s something they want to change. And surprisingly, adding sexting to your long-term relationship might turn up the heat that you’re missing.
When you get to know someone in a long-term relationship, you’re involved in the process of exploration. You are paying a lot of attention to their likes, dislikes, needs, and desires. This focused attention keeps you present in your moments together, especially in the bedroom. But after some time has passed, this attitude changes. You already know what your partner likes, and they know what you like. You both have a clear, quick path from the bedtime routine to orgasm to sleep. So, why would you drag out a process that you’ve optimized?
When you get into a routine, you aren’t as present. You fall into a state of sexual autopilot, doing things without really thinking because you’ve memorized the process. By doing anything over and over, you become numb to it. To get out of a routine, you have to do something different. Whenever you’re doing something new, you pay more attention, which is one of the cornerstones of having great sex.
That’s where sexting comes in. Sexting your partner can help give you the space to try something new. Even if you think you know everything there is to know about them, the truth is, you don’t. Sexting with them is a fun way to get to know some of the nuances about your partner that you aren’t well acquainted with.
Another thing couples that have a lot of sex together do is keep sex at the forefront of their minds, always. One way to do this is with sexting. Most people check in with their significant others throughout the day, but they do so in a mindless, sexless way. Instead of sending your same-old, everyday text of “when will you be home tonight?” or “what do you want for dinner?” you could take the opportunity to flirt with your partner and say something vaguely sexual instead. You could send a photo of yourself in an outfit you know they love or let them know you’re counting down the hours until you see them. Try sending something more along the lines of “I’ve been thinking about you all day, and I am so ready to take you to bed tonight,” to get things started.
Sexting should be fun and spontaneous, but it shouldn’t be a surprise. Ask your partner if they would be into it first, and then ask if there are times when a sext would be a bad idea. After they’ve expressed their enthusiasm, consider their personality and the tone of your relationship and find a way to do something out of the ordinary.
Give yourselves the best shot at having a good experience. Keep in mind that while some often-used platforms like Facebook and Instagram are fine for sending flirty messages, they do have a no-nudity policy. Find a secure, private forum where you both feel comfortable sending messages.
And remember, sexting isn’t reserved for couples. Single people can sext, too. But it’s even more crucial for them to find a sexting site that will verify user ages as well as protect their privacy.