As any seasoned swinger knows, jealousy is one of the most challenging emotions in the lifestyle. After all, swingers are supposed to be open-minded and non-judgmental, so feeling jealous of your partner’s sexual encounters can be a real blow to your self-esteem. However, it does not have to ruin your fun, and we have plenty of advice on dealing with jealousy in an open relationship.
Dealing with jealousy in an open relationship
Do you ever get jealous when your partner is playing with someone else?
Do you ever feel anxious when your partner talks about someone they find attractive?
It’s normal to feel jealous in any relationship. However, it’s important to remember that jealousy is often based on fear. Fear of losing your partner, fear of them finding someone else better than you, or fear of them leaving you.
When you’re feeling jealous, try to take a step back and examine what is really going on. Are you afraid of losing your partner? If so, why? What can you do to feel more secure in your relationship?
Think about how you can move forward together to avoid these feelings in the future.
Talk to your partner about what you’re feeling and why. If you’re feeling jealous, tell them. They may feel the same way, and addressing the issue head-on will help ensure everyone is on the same page.
Make sure that before you engage in any swinging activity, you and your partner have a clear understanding of what each of you is comfortable with. If you don’t communicate your needs, wants, desires, and boundaries, you will eventually find yourself in some hot water.
What are your boundaries?
What are your limits?
What are your hard no’s?
These need to be established before anything else can happen. It’ll save you a lot of headaches (and heartache) in the long run.
How can you use “I-statements” to improve your communication
When we are experiencing jealousy in an open relationship, it can be challenging to communicate effectively and get our message across. When you use “I” statements, you can express your feelings and needs without putting the other person on the defensive.
instead of saying, “You never listen to me,” we can say, “I feel like I’m not being heard.“
When we use “I” statements, we take responsibility for our emotions and allow the other person to respond without feeling attacked. As a result, “I” statements can help reduce tension and foster better communication.
Creating a more open, trusting relationship.
So if you find yourself feeling green with envy every now and then, don’t beat yourself up. Take a step back, examine what’s really going on, and talk to your partner about it. Even the most contented non-monogamous couples experience jealousy while swinging from time to time. You can get past these emotions with a little open communication and understanding and continue enjoying an exciting, happy, and fulfilling open relationship.