How to Politely Move On at a Swingers Club | Advice for the First Time Swinger

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Being a first time swinger is exciting. You finally have the opportunity to fulfill all your wildest sexual fantasies (and create new ones).

All you have to do is start.

That might mean getting to know another couple in the lifestyle – no hanky panky as you learn more about it – or jumping straight into the action.

Whether you’re experienced or just starting out, a swinger club can be intimidating. Everyone will come with different hopes and expectations. You might not meet the right play partners or worse…

You’ll feel stuck with partners that don’t satisfy you.

The obvious thing to do in this situation is to move on, but how? You don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, especially if the experience was good. Sometimes you just want to see what else is out there – and you should. That’s what swinging is about.

So, what’s the best exit?

Be Polite, but Clear

When you’re ready to disengage from a swinger encounter, it’s important that you don’t beat around the bush. As a first time swinger, you should never feel pressured to stay longer than you want to (same goes for whoever else you’re playing with). Otherwise, boundaries are being crossed and that’s unsafe!

All the same, you don’t want to be rude – especially since you might encounter these swingers again. Just politely say, “Thanks, I had a great time with you,” and let them know you’re ready to explore somewhere else. It might be a little uncomfy at the beginning and every situation can be different. The good news is that the more you visit swinger clubs, the more comfortable you will feel navigating it all.

Like we said before, swinging is all about exploration. While some swingers might want to stay with the same couples, it’s usually expected that you’ll want to move on at some point. Don’t feel bad!

Invite Others

Let’s say you did have a really great time with your play partner(s) and are ready to move on, but because you’re a good person, you don’t want to leave them hanging.

This is a good opportunity to get even more people involved.

Depending on the club you’re participating in, it won’t be uncommon for a small crowd to gather ’round while you’re getting it on. If you’re ready to go, but you just want to help your partner(s) transition into their next encounter, try to get someone’s attention.

Find someone who looks interesting, maybe that you’ve already played with and enjoyed, and throw some sexy looks their way. Make eye contact, touch them lightly if you can and see if they reciprocate. Hopefully, they’ll join in and you can fade out.

If not, at least you tried. Time to move on. ?

Do You Have to “Finish” What You Started?

Consent should always be your first concern in any sexual encounter – especially at a new swinger club where you might want to “fit in” or look like you know what you’re doing. It’s not uncommon for first time swingers to start an encounter with play partners, want to leave, but don’t right away because they feel obligated to make the other person(s) orgasm.

This is a very unhealthy – not to mention, boring – way to approach swinging.

True swinging is about discovery. You’re supposed to widen your sexual horizons and try different things, as you want to do them. If someone makes you feel bad about leaving before they finish, that person is not someone you should ever have an encounter with again. They are selfish and probably unsafe.

Despite what we’ve all been told, sex does not have to be about the O. In fact, most of the fun is found in foreplay (“play” is in the word for a reason)!

Don’t let someone else’s boring sex life taint your own.

Are you a first time swinger? Check out our swinger club FAQ for beginners.

Photo Credit: Maxim Lupascu, 123rf.com

The post How to Politely Move On at a Swingers Club | Advice for the First Time Swinger appeared first on Non-Monogamy Blog by SwingTowns.

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