How to Nail Your First Lifestyle Experience | Advice for the First Time Swinger

What real swingers need to know when they choose the lifestyle
January 10, 2020
Things swinging couples need to know in order to enjoy a swingers club
January 17, 2020

We’ve all been there: bagged a hot couple, taken an hour – or an entire evening – to get ready, and then become plagued with anxiety. ‘What should we talk about? How soon should we initiate foreplay? When do we get to the main event?’ Take a deep breath… we got you. Follow these swinger tips from our lifestyle experts for the smoothest LS experience of your life.

  • Think positive – but don’t be overly optimistic. Hopefully you talked a little bit about sex with the people you’re about to hookup with, so you have some idea of what to expect. Regardless, it’s a good idea to go into each swinger experience without having rigid expectations (which can leave you disappointed). Instead, look at it as a chance to discover more about yourself and your partner. Keep an open mind and look forward to trying new things — but don’t compromise your boundaries. 
  • Speaking of, talk about boundaries! This is critical before getting involved with anyone in the lifestyle, both for you (and your partner, if you have one) and the people you’re playing with. Everyone has different comfort levels and things they absolutely do not want to do in bed or at a lifestyle meetup. Discuss these things beforehand, make rules, and have an exit plan in case someone decides to be disrespectful. 
  • Plan some ice breakers. That transition of hanging out to getting down and dirty can be an awkward one if you aren’t prepared. Luckily, card games exist! Exploding Kittens, Cards Against Humanity, What Do You Meme… the more outlandish, the better. It’s a great way to get everyone outside of their comfort zone and “loosened up.” And if you’re feeling confident, add stripping!
  • Don’t drink too much. A drink or two to help calm your nerves / get yourself in the mood is fine, but it’s never a good idea to be too intoxicated around people you don’t know well. Plus if you accidentally go overboard, the sex part might be difficult (or end with you hanging out over a toilet – lame!) 
  • Bring anything you think you might need. Wipes, condoms, lube, etc. Better safe than sorry!
  • Share your location with a friend. This is important especially if you’re a unicorn and haven’t built up trust with your play partner(s) yet!
  • Give everyone equal attention, as long as you’re comfortable doing so. The second anyone gives you a bad feeling, or you realize you’re no longer interested, end it. Be upfront, claim illness, pretend you don’t think you’re ready, etc. Just move on!
  • Relax. You’re about to meet some new potential friends! Act as if they already are. Be yourself and if it’s meant to be, the sparks will fly. If not, hopefully you won’t waste too much time! The when’s and how’s (foreplay initiation, the sex itself, etc) will be different for every situation. With time, you’ll find a rhythm and learn what works for you. Take things slow at first, have fun, and be safe!

Photo Credit: Juan David Feurtes Garcia, 123rf.com

The post How to Nail Your First Lifestyle Experience | Advice for the First Time Swinger appeared first on Non-Monogamy Blog by SwingTowns.

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