While the future may not have brought flying skateboards or hoverboards with it (fingers still crossed!) it sure has brought some new perspectives on relationships. Not only is gay marriage finally legal—more and more couples are beginning to explore non-monogamy.
It makes sense. The institution of marriage is a total construct, and while it may work for some, it totally doesn’t work for others. Those brave enough to have that discussion often like to start with something easy to dip their toes into–like swinging.
Thanks to a little thing called the Internet, swingers dating is the easiest it’s ever been, and we have the scoop on exactly how to get started.
What is Swinging?
Even if you’ve never met swingers (at least, not knowingly) you’ve probably heard of the lifestyle before. And what exactly is it? Well, every couple does it a little bit differently, but it’s basically just having sexual pursuits outside of your primary relationship. That doesn’t necessarily mean P-I-V sex, or any sex at all. It could just be making out with others or watching other couples have sex, such as at a swingers’ club.
The key difference between swinging and another form of non-monogamy called polyamory is that your pursuits never become serious (i.e. you don’t allow yourself to catch feelings for anyone you play with, and neither does your partner).
Polyamory, of course, is an incredibly valid expression of non-monogamy. But the more romantic aspects of hooking up which might lead to a serious connection don’t generally have a place in the world of swinging. It’s just not something that anyone typically goes looking for in the lifestyle, and attempting to do so can lead to problems in your relationship (and of those you play with). If polyamory does sound more your speed, we have an entire section dedicated to that here.
If, on the other hand, you’re still interested in swinging you’ll want to read the next section.
How to Meet Swingers
Taking the plunge to join the lifestyle can be pretty scary at first. You’ll have all kinds of questions swimming in your head like, what if this ruins our relationship? Can I look at my partner the same way after they’ve been with someone else? What if they like it and I don’t (or vice versa)?
These are all valid things to worry about, and it’s really important that you talk your fears through with your S.O. before moving forward. The lifestyle only works for couples with a strong foundation—that means having impeccable communication skills, lots of trust, and love for one another. Swinging is never a “fix” for any problems you may have in your relationship, and it can even make things worse if you’re not careful.
That said, once you’ve explored the idea, set boundaries, and decided that swinging is something you and your partner truly want to try, there are a couple of different ways to meet other couples or singles. The obvious one is by joining a swinger dating site like SwingTowns.
Where to Meet Swingers Online
If you and your partner want to start looking outside your circle of acquaintances (and we do recommend that, especially if you’re a first timer!), online is a very good place to start. You can find many open-minded people that share the same interests and fantasies as you on a site like SwingTowns. ST has millions of members just waiting to meet others, have fun, get intimate, and explore new worlds of excitement!
The best part is, it’s based on location (so you can easily browse all the hot swingers in your own community) and free to sign up! It also features all the clubs, parties, and other lifestyle events in your area, and allows you to search by city for when you travel.
How convenient is that?
How to Enjoy Swingers Dating
Swingers dating can be exciting, especially if you like to meet new people and you are ready to experiment. It might not be easy at first, but with time and experience, you will discover what you like, what your boundaries are, and you should make some great new friends. You definitely want to set some rules from the beginning, and go as slow as your comfort level requires. Stay on the same page with your partner at all times so that there’s no issues down the road.
However scary swinging and non-monogamy might seem at the beginning, it can be a wonderful experience that brings you and your partner closer together (provided, again, that you start from a solid foundation). As you work together and share these exciting new experiences with one another, you may find yourselves developing stronger trust and friendship.
You’ll never know unless you give it a shot. Sign up for your free profile now!
Photo credit: Goran Bogicevic, 123rf.com