Everything Newbie Couples Need to Know about BDSM

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If you and your partner have considered introducing BDSM into your relationship, then you’re definitely not alone. Research shows that upwards of 60% of people have expressed at least some sort of interest in dominating a partner. And, many people engage in kinky sex without even realizing that’s what they’re doing. 

The truth of the matter is that despite the stigma, engaging in BDSM is natural and normal. It can also be a very exciting addition to any relationship. However, it’s important to go about it in a safe and consensual manner. In this article, we’re sharing all the tips for newbie couples getting started with BDSM. 

couple enjoying BDSM

How to Get Started with BDSM as a Beginner

While engaging in BDSM with a trusted partner can be fun and exciting (and it should be!), it also requires some research and preparation before jumping right in. Here are the top tips for newbie couples who are interested in BDSM. 

  • Take Things Slow

The most important thing to remember when getting started with BDSM is that there is no rush. It’s not a race, and you don’t have to experience everything right from the get-go. Instead, try taking things slowly. Dip your toes in before jumping off the deep end. 

Try spacing out your experiences, and then having detailed conversations about them. And, take time for proper education. Read everything you can get your hands on, and do it together. The more you know about BDSM, the more pleasurable the experiences will be. 

  • Talk about Everything

Trust and communication are the pillars of BDSM and enjoyment in the kink lifestyle. It’s important to sit down with your partner often. Make sure to talk about everything, and keep things honest and transparent. Share your desires, but don’t be afraid to also touch on your worries. The only way for your partner to truly understand what you want and where you’re coming from is to have multiple conversations on the topic. 

  • Agree on a Safe Word

While the idea of a safeword might be daunting, it is a requirement in BDSM. You never know when an experience might become too intense to continue, and it is critical to have that safety net in place beforehand. Decide on a word together that can be said to stop a scene entirely. And, make it something random, like “pineapple” or “milkshake” to lower the possibility of it being said accidentally. 

  • Make Time for Aftercare

Transitioning from the BDSM headspace (especially after a scene that has been intense) to the real world can take some time. This is why aftercare is so important in the BDSM lifestyle. After a scene ends, and before going your separate ways, take time to discuss your feelings, cuddle, tend to any wounds, and simply connect with each other. This will make the transition back into real life much easier. 

woman learning about BDSM

Getting Started with BDSM Should be Fun and Exciting

Getting started with BDSM should be low pressure. It should be filled with excitement and fun, and should never be taken too quickly. BDSM requires vulnerability, honesty, and complete transparency. It’s something that takes working up to. For all of these reasons, you should never force or rush a situation or scene. And, communication should be maintained as a priority. Doing so will ensure kinky sex that’s fun and fulfilling. And that’s a win-win for everyone. 


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Savannah
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