Being in a healthy D/s relationship can be fulfilling but it also takes a lot of work. My name is Goddess Lila and I’m a professional online femdom goddess and humiliatrix. Here are my tips to help you become a better submissive.
Trust Your Dom
One of the most important aspects of a D/s relationship is trust. It’s natural for most subs to resist being told what to do at first but in the end it is obedience that matters. During my career as an online humiliatrix, I’ve come across many men who would claim they were submissive only to argue with me once I told them something they didn’t like. A good sub understands that his dominant always knows what’s best.
Simply stop thinking and give in to the moment. “Letting go” and focusing on your dominant gets you into that sweet subspace. If you don’t fully trust your dom to have your best interest at heart then you are with the wrong person. Take your time and make sure that you’re with someone you trust completely.
Set Soft & Hard Limits
Every sane sub should set soft and hard limits. Hard limits are things that are completely off-limits and should be respected by both parties. Write down what your absolute hard no’s are and share them with your dom or mistress. Soft limits are things you may be nervous or hesitant about indulging in. Know that limits can change over time.
Make sure to have a “safe word” that you can use during play. A good submissive should respect himself and be able to speak up when uncomfortable. There is a difference between an abusive D/s relationship and a healthy one.
Be Clear About Your Intentions
Be clear about your intentions as a submissive. Do you truly derive satisfaction from pleasing your superior or are you a fetishist? From my experience as a domme, many men who think they are submissive are just fetishists. Liking feet by itself doesn’t make you a submissive by itself; it only means you like feet. A D/s relationship that revolves around actual servitude will be very different than a one-off kink experience. A good submissive can have fetishes but his main purpose should always be to serve and be useful.
Aim To Please
A true submissive always puts his dominant first. You should truly care about bettering your dominant’s life and making him or her happy. Focusing only on the fetishes that please and get you off is the exact opposite of being a good submissive. Aim to find out your dominant’s favorite things and gift them. Do things for your dominant without expecting any sexual gratification.
These tips may seem simple but they can make a significant difference. Work on one or two things at a time and you’ll be well on your way of becoming a better submissive.